Letting Go: Applying "The Let Them Theory" to Business Relationships

“The Let Them Theory is about freedom. Two simple words - let them - will

free you from the burden of trying to manage other people.”

—Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory

In business, we’re often taught to chase, fix, persuade, or prove our worth - to clients, employees, partners, and even ourselves. But what if the key to stronger, healthier business relationships isn’t about doing more, but about letting go? That’s the central idea of Mel Robbins’ book, The Let Them Theory.

I loved this book and its message. What started as a viral idea on social media has become a guiding philosophy. Her approach isn’t about giving up. Instead, it’s about focusing on what you can control. How can we can apply it, not just in our personal lives but in our work lives, where we spend so much time with coworkers, clients, bosses and partners? In exploring this question, I share the central tenets of this book along with a few of my own experiences. At the end, I’ll give you something to try that just may make a difference in your life!

Let Them: Business Lessons in Letting Go

1. Let team members show you who they are.

Rather than micromanaging or wishing someone would step up, observe what they actually do well and what is important to them, and respond accordingly. “Let them show you who they are.” (page 90) 

The best team I ever had was in the period 2008-2011, before working from home was even a thing. I had five women on my team, who had different backgrounds, worked 10-20 hours a week and lived in five different states. Each of them helped me with different projects. They were rock stars! They worked when it fit with their schedules, but they met every deadline and loved their jobs (I think!).

2. Let prospects ghost you.

We’re all in sales, whether we want to admit it or not. I might be selling Passion 4 People but you might be looking for a new job and selling yourself! We all deal with prospects who stop replying. Instead of overanalyzing, let them. That silence gives you valuable information about their level of interest and who they are, so you can move forward and contact other people who do want to talk to you. Let me move on to the next name on my list and make the call!

3. Let clients walk.

Not every client will see your value or be a fit forever. Let them leave without chasing. When we stop trying to “win them back” at any cost, we leave space for better-aligned partnerships to grow.

Back in 2014, when I was starting out, one of my first clients needed a CFO. I had a great consultant in there, helping to clean up the accounting and finance functions. At every step, we uncovered serious missteps, some bordering on unethical. I found it hard to sleep at night. Finally, we told them we weren’t going to work with them anymore. I didn’t have many clients at the time, so it was difficult. But even the consultant said, “If you go, I go.”  It felt so good to say goodbye!

Let Me: The Leadership Mindset That Changes Everything

While “Let Them” teaches us to release control of others, Robbins argues that the real transformation comes from what she calls “Let Me.”  This part of the book is gold for anyone running a business, managing a team, or leading through change.

1. Let me choose how I respond.

"Let me choose whether this ruins my day or refocuses me.” (p. 113)

You can’t control everything that happens in a day, but you can control what you do next. As a leader, your team takes cues from your response. If you lead with calm, clarity, and confidence, they’re more likely to do the same.

Years ago, we had an annual Cinco de Mayo office party with about 75-100 people attending. One year, on the day of the party - around 3:30pm - the caterers weren’t there yet so the organizer on my team called them. The caterers said the contract was for Friday, May 5th, but we had invited everyone for Thursday, May 4th!

I thought our organizer was going to jump out the window! (Luckily, we were only on the 2nd floor.) The caterer told us they would deliver what was ready. I got the team to huddle up and we quickly split up the work: two people went to the liquor store for margarita supplies and Coronas. My husband and son volunteered to be the bartenders. One person went to Chevy’s and took all the food they could prepare in an hour. Two other people went to the store for supplies. Teamwork at its best!! The party was a huge success and none of the guests knew we messed up the date on the contract! 

2. Let me protect my energy.

“You’re not a doormat. You get to decide where your energy goes.” (p. 121)

Not every issue is yours to solve. Not every call needs your voice. Great leadership sometimes means not jumping in. Instead, create space for others to rise.

A big part of my job is listening to people vent and that can bring your energy down. Once I realized I just needed to listen and not try to fix all the problems they were having with their team or their client, it didn’t drain me as much. They just needed me to LISTEN!

3. Let me be OK with not being liked.

“If you’re doing what’s right for you, and someone doesn’t like it, let them.” (p. 118)

This one is a challenge, especially for those of us who want to be seen as fair, thoughtful, or kind. But in business, setting boundaries and making tough calls sometimes means disappointing others. And that’s okay.

THIS ONE IS SO HARD FOR ME. I want everyone to like me. I even like to be a bit of a matchmaker. One of my matches didn’t work out, and one of the people hasn’t spoken to me again. I was so upset at first, as I thought I was being kind, but I had to stop reaching out and say “LET THEM.”

“Let Them” + “Let Me”: A Framework for Boundaries and Growth

These two short phrases - “Let Them” and “Let Me” – give us a framework for leadership clarity. They help us to draw boundaries with others and lead with intention.

Right now, a lot of crazy things are going on in the world, and business feels a bit unpredictable. So it’s more important than ever to say, “Let them,” and focus on what you can spend your time on. “Let me” focus on the good things that are still happening every day. Let me focus on the clients/consultants/relationships that bring me joy every day!

Try It This Week!

Ask yourself:

• Who do I need to say “let them” to today?

• When do I need to say “let me,” in order to take back control for myself today?

Whether it’s letting a client move on, letting a team member struggle and grow, or letting yourself off the hook for not pleasing everyone, there’s freedom and power in letting go.

Let them.

Let me.

Let’s go!